In this episode, Steve sheds light on the source of conflict, relationship problems, and personal discontent. You don’t have to feel hopeless or be angry because there is a cure.
What’s the real problem?
James 4:1 reveals that fights and quarrels don’t come from around you—your environment, circumstances, or other people—but from within you. The battle is within you. You want something, but you’re not getting it. Common wants include recognition, fame, money, understanding, appreciation, and love. Those things you desire aren’t necessarily bad.
The problem arises when you feel dissatisfied and disgruntled that you’re not getting what you think you deserve. Those feelings spill over into your work, church, home, and everywhere! When people quarrel at church, spirituality might cover up the obvious signs but the reality is still the same. Relationships are hurting, and the peace of God is missing.
“It’s a merry-go-round that will hurt you everywhere you go.”
You must deal with what is going on inside you. Otherwise, you might find yourself upset, being rude, speaking critically, and otherwise becoming someone you yourself do not like.
You must be healed! The first step is realizing you are agitated because you are not getting what you want.
Choose To Change
James 4:2-3 says to ask God for what you want/need. God wants to bless you and help you. If you do not receive, if God doesn’t respond the way you think he should, then you are asking with the wrong motives.
You want to feel good. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but you’re looking to other people, expecting them to give it to you. Then when they don’t deliver, you’re agitated. You might be upset over things that should not matter much. You’ve got to have more and cannot get enough.
You must choose to want something different. How do you change what you want?
Pick something better. Or, if what you want is good (like love or understanding), then change why you want it–change your motives. Sow peace, and be at peace within yourself. When you tell God what you want, want what God wants, and allow the peace of God into your life, then the battle within is won.
1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?
2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.
3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
Questions:
What things do you want but do not have?
Do you blame anyone for the way your life is now?
Have you told God what you want?
Do you have the right motives for wanting the things you want?
